tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611620450254598345.post8555994116581691286..comments2010-03-12T12:33:24.208-08:00Comments on Domestic Hiss: Androids and HusbandsSarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07141742419364168878noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611620450254598345.post-85205793192271288272010-03-05T17:10:18.446-08:002010-03-05T17:10:18.446-08:00Yup. Definitely lots of coaching required. I somet...Yup. Definitely lots of coaching required. I sometimes get tired of repeating the line about wanting comfort/sympathy not being the same as asking him to fix it. TT gets very wound up until that message sinks in. Until the next time.Nose_in_a_bookhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07154323912093068113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611620450254598345.post-23509678879634574352010-02-11T13:33:27.018-08:002010-02-11T13:33:27.018-08:00WHEN DO I GET TO STOP THE TEACHING?
...though th...WHEN DO I GET TO STOP THE TEACHING? <br /><br />...though this did help, because I realized that Hubs was an only child in a family of emotional cripples, which is a great phrase.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611620450254598345.post-63320493652841451302010-02-09T06:49:53.875-08:002010-02-09T06:49:53.875-08:00This is so interesting and I'm loving the comm...This is so interesting and I'm loving the comments as well. I guess if anything I relate to the stereotypical male POV here. I get wicked uncomfortable if someone needs to be comforted, and never know what to say/do. I grew up in a house full of Emotional Cripples, who didn't really show it if they were upset, and if they DID accidentally show it, you were supposed to pretend you didn't notice.<br /><br />Tosc, who is very sensitive (for a guy), once told me I was "cold-hearted" after my lack of reaction to one of his moods. I was PISSED, and told him that if that's what he thought, then he didn't really know me, blah blah. And obviously I'm NOT cold-hearted, but I guess you wouldn't know it based on my inability to comfort in a non-awk manner.<br /><br />It totally DOES have to be learned, whether it's how your partner wants to be comforted, or even your child. I certainly don't want to RAISE any emotional cripples either, you know?Tesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18085712930407611861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611620450254598345.post-70586077882828086942010-02-08T21:11:07.617-08:002010-02-08T21:11:07.617-08:00I have to coach Hubby on practically everything re...I have to coach Hubby on practically everything related to inter-personal relations. He had one brother and I think they're both a little stunted in this area. Like I have to tell him to say "uh-huh" every once and a while when we're talking on the phone because sometimes I think we've been disconnected or something.Katyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02189007616883663434noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611620450254598345.post-47597657892346644022010-02-08T11:00:11.866-08:002010-02-08T11:00:11.866-08:00Torsten is the same way. He's learned a lot bu...Torsten is the same way. He's learned a lot but it's definitely required some coaching. Luckily I am pretty good at clearly expressing what I need without getting angry about it. Not expecting him to read my mind is probably a huge part of why we work so well together.Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611620450254598345.post-20017608684862551072010-02-08T07:50:51.581-08:002010-02-08T07:50:51.581-08:00You know, that makes so much sense.You know, that makes so much sense.Hillaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07383163628351295433noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611620450254598345.post-22094459881736657202010-02-07T11:16:07.052-08:002010-02-07T11:16:07.052-08:00Erin- Yes! I also feel like I'm hyper aware of...Erin- Yes! I also feel like I'm hyper aware of people's moods and any weird little tensions or connections going on that other people might be oblivious to. Sometimes it makes family gatherings almost overwhelming- I'm always spotting little tiffs and ruffled feathers!Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07141742419364168878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611620450254598345.post-81231518606290069862010-02-07T07:31:44.303-08:002010-02-07T07:31:44.303-08:00YES! Just yes.YES! Just yes.d e v a nhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02514260896810474173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611620450254598345.post-63266283001860270932010-02-07T07:18:57.476-08:002010-02-07T07:18:57.476-08:00WOW. This is such a spectacular post. SO RIGHT ON....WOW. This is such a spectacular post. SO RIGHT ON. I nodded the whole way through.<br /><br />My husband is EXACTLY this way. And on top of it, he is an only child, whereas I am a MIDDLE in a semi-large family. I am almost HYPER aware of others' moods and emotions. And he is the polar opposite. It is, hands-down, our BIGGEST struggle.Erinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05170500094049647497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4611620450254598345.post-21652976849818963892010-02-07T06:22:23.826-08:002010-02-07T06:22:23.826-08:00As I was reading the part in this where you said &...As I was reading the part in this where you said "he often just wanted to fix everything" I was nodding my head vigorously. This is a lesson I had to learn in my own marriage. When they see us hurting, our guys just want to fix it! I am a little like this myself, especially regarding my kids. Also my mom tended to be a ranter and raver so it made sense to me growing up to find a solution for what was going on to get her to CALM DOWN!!<br />I think it does take time in a marriage to "learn" the other person's way of dealing with and expressing emotions. I think it says a lot about your husband that he was able to express to you how he was feeling about the whole thing in such a way that you yourself had a relevation.Franhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08747555588746854769noreply@blogger.com